“What message are you sending about yourself?”
Take the time to think about the answer to this question.
Who is the most important person you speak with every day?
Chances are you answered along the lines of a family member, or a close friend, perhaps your sporting coach, your favourite teacher, a work colleague or even your boss.
If you linked the question to the heading of this blog, you may have answered, what I believe to be the correct answer, and that is yourself!
Yes, the reality of the situation is we all speak to ourselves and our chatter is non-stop. And what you say to yourself, about yourself can be the most detrimental or most powerful conversations of your life.
For those in any competitive environment, be it sport related or work related it is imperative to your long-term success to assess what you are saying and to change these conversations if what you are saying is hindering you achieving consistent prepotent performance.
How is the best way to assess your self-talk? There are several ways but those familiar with British comedian Michael McIntyre’s Big Show will know where I am going when I refer to the ‘Send to All.’
Grab your mobile phone and type a text message of what your latest self-talk conversation was surrounding an athletic performance. No doubt you typed about some past event or about some future event. Now press ‘Send to All’ from your contacts. You will no doubt be sending this to the same names you answered in my question at the start, your closest family members or friends, your sporting coach or even your mentor.
So what message are you sending about yourself? How did sending that message make you feel? Are you feeling happy, motivated, confident, proud, or are you embarrassed, scared, angry or ashamed?
If it is the former, you can probably stop reading now, but I know you won’t. If you sent that kind of message you are always looking for ways to improve.
If you had the latter feelings, don’t despair. The fact you are still reading tells me you are looking for improvements, which tells me you will soon be in the first group.
To feel good, to feel powerful, to feel confidence it stands to reason you need to reduce the negative dialogue within your mind. Those who have been performing long enough know there are enough people out there who will criticise you – so there is absolutely no need for you to pour yourself a glass of ‘hater-ade’ too.
While there are numerous strategies that can assist you to turn negative self-talk into high performance self-talk, today I only wish to highlight the most important strategy. At its most fundamental level – if you can APPLY just this one skill you instantly increase your ability to improve your confidence and your self-esteem. And improvement in these areas, within a competitive environment, equates to an advantage that can be the difference between success and failure.
So to me, the first, and most important step to take when dealing with those negative, self-destructive thoughts is to throw the bottle away. As I said, there is no need for you to pour yourself a glass of ‘hater-ade.’ So throw that cr@p away or pour it down the drain as you simply do not need it!
It is imperative to your future success, and enjoyment, to understand there is no sustenance in constantly berating yourself. This self-directed negativity becomes inherently linked to your confidence which can then crash down onto your capacity to perform at your best. Never forget what Billy Joel sings, “you’re only human, you’re supposed to make mistakes.”
So next time you are about to beat yourself up, remember the ‘Send to All’ strategy. When you are not feeling too good about what you would be typing in that message, stop typing it. Change the message by remembering you are only human, that nobody is perfect and you are actually doing your best. Be proud of that, feel good about that, give yourself a pat on the back, and get your head back into your performance.
Do not be worried about what others may or may not say about you. Put your focus on what you say about you. Remember you are the most important person that you speak to every single day. Healthy growth as an athlete, and as a person, starts with the messages you send yourself.
Think about the thoughts / questions you regularly ask yourself. How are these thoughts / questions serving you? What quality do these thoughts / questions bring to your athletic performance / life?
You are in control of the keypad, so what message are you going to send?
