Ever heard this after you just completed a gruelling training session?
“Why do you do that?”
What about this when you go to bed early in preparation for the next day’s training session?
“What will one day off hurt you?”
When I was training for the 6 Foot Track marathon, or the Gold Coast Marathon or the Hell of the West Triathlon, I used to hear these type of questions ALL. OF. THE. TIME! To be honest it used to annoy me, although today it brings a smile to my face.
See, it took me a while to truly understand that those asking the question didn’t truly understand my response. I was normally met with a slow nodding of the head, a blank stare and a muttered, “oh” or “really?” While I continued on about how good it felt and how much energy I had, I could see they had switched off and were probably now regretting asking the question in the first place.
What I discovered was two things: some were asking the question for their own reasons and not necessarily for my reply. While others, because they were genuinely interested or were a like-minded person. The former never truly got it, and the latter, well, truth be known, they never asked that style of question in the first place. Now, while I know I am a polite person by nature (my mum would have a piece of me if I wasn’t) I did come up with a way of getting my own back when I was asked the inevitable ‘why’ question. My response was simple, yet effective: “If you have to ask that question, you will probably not understand my answer.” Funnily enough, I was normally met with the same blank stares.
Own your WHY
What their questions demonstrated to me was that I did not know why they were asking, just as much as they could not relate to my response. I did not know their why and they did not know mine.
It was my WHY. It was my passion, my purpose and it was personal.
For me it was always linked to my enjoyment in competing. My ‘why’ was entwined with challenging myself to go beyond what I had previously done. I should clarify; the competing I refer to was always against the bald headed bloke staring back at me from my mirror! That was where the true challenge was, to overcome his negative thoughts and his physical pains and to keep going a bit longer. It was also where my genuine exhilaration came from too.
I vividly remember my training in the lead up to my best time in a marathon. It was the hardest I have trained, yet also the most enjoyable training I had completed. My running partner’s best time for a marathon was 3:07, and being completely honest there was a smidge of competitiveness between the two of us! Maybe even a “smidge and a half” for those We’re The Millers fans.
On the back of my training I knew there was a chance I could get to his time. I also knew there are so many variables when running a marathon that I couldn’t let somebody else’s time control my performance. I remained true to my ‘why’, not anybody else’s.
It is funny the things you think about at times. When I had finished that morning and as I walked (gingerly) out of the finishing area I had to STEP UP off the roadway onto the grass. I remember thinking what sadistic so-and-so puts a 4 inch curb there? Oh it was a tough run and when I crossed the finish line I was absolutely spent. There were enough times throughout the 11400 seconds it took me to finish where my mind was telling me things that my body desperately wanted to hear.
But it was here where having a personal ‘why’, and truly owning it, kicked in. I acknowledged those thoughts then my why kicked the $h!t out of them. As I ran the souls of my feet were tender, the blisters on my heals were aching, my arms were tired, my legs sluggish and my lungs were screaming … damn even my eye-lashes felt heavier than normal, but I kept saying to myself, “if you have to ask …”
When I crossed the finish line some 3 minutes behind my mate’s best time do you think I was disappointed? No, nein, nee, nej, non, net … whatever language you say it in, my answer is the same. No I was not, and even now I am not. I know I prepared my best and performed to my very best on that morning. When I crossed the line I could not have been more satisfied with my effort. My ‘why’ was not concerned with those 3 minutes, it wasn’t even concerned with the almost 20 minutes I had beaten my best time by. It was only concerned with being true to itself and knowing we had competed.
Yes, I am proud of my 3:10 marathon, but not nearly as proud of the fact that I know in my heart I did my very best on that day.
So when you are out there doing what it is you do, remember you can’t expect everybody to understand why you are doing it. However, to achieve consistent, prepotent performance you should have the expectation of yourself to OWN YOUR WHY and you should never hide or apologise for it.
My ‘why’ meant something to me, it was the catalyst for my what and my how. It motivated me. It got me out of bed in the morning, regardless of the weather and it was the reason for the social and family sacrifices I made.
Do you currently own your why? If you do, I know you can relate to my story. I know when the alarm goes off, you will get out of bed. Yep, you’ll be tired and yet you WILL get up. If, however, while reading this it made you feel a little uncomfortable, then maybe you don’t yet truly own your why? Maybe you are still attempting to identify your WHY. That is fine, as before you can own your why you must know what your why is.
I believe we are all put on this earth for a purpose. It is however up to each of us to go searching for that purpose. Your phone will not magically ‘ping’ with an email or text telling you THIS IS YOUR PURPOSE 🙂
You must act so that you can experience, for when you experience you will feel and you will know. Never forget, it ultimately will be you that responds when you get asked the inevitable … “why do you do that?”
